Lily's Bond
by Trebuchet
Summary: Lily has discovered Lupin's secret


Lily's Bond  
  
Smack!  
  
The book hit the wooden table before him with such force his collection of papers shot up in the air before cascading down off the table into drifts around his ankles.  
  
He looked up. Staring down with her teeth gritted was Lily.  
  
"Here, found it." She muttered before spinning on her heel and striding away.  
  
Confused, he wiggled his chair back and clambered out of the paper mound around the table, reaching out to grasp her elbow as she went.  
  
Without turning or slowing she gripped his fingers and firmly twisted them free of her robes, "Off" she growled.  
  
Her tone was warning enough. Backing off, he stopped and stared as she marched away. She must know, he realised, aghast. What else would cause this massive change towards him?  
  
Lily was always bright and chirpy. Even at her most serious, when studying or thinking about home, she would always be ready with a smart comment to counter the constant joking of James and Sirius.  
  
Remus sat back down, only now noticing what she had dumped in front of him, scattering his Arithmancy notes. Animagi, Shapeshifters and Boggarts. Fair enough, it was on their Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts book lists, but there had to be some coincidence for this copy to have a bookmark in the chapter referring to werewolves.  
  
He sunk his head into his hands. Would she tell anyone? She had been so close to the three of them, he knew she would tell James or Sirius. But he had thought her close to him as well – perhaps she would feel some loyalty. He groaned aloud.  
  
****************************************  
  
James was sat in the squashy chair by the Gryffindor Common Room fire. Eyes closed he sank into the plush cushions, basking in the heat from the coals. The Common Room was virtually empty except for a dozy looking sixth year rubbing her eyes and yawning down at a star chart on a desk. James thought about all the things he could be doing, the things he ought to be doing: homework, more Quidditch practise, wandering the grounds with his friends, with her. But no, he was content just to sit here, curled up against the November cold with his eyes shut. Everything else could wait. In fact, he would really rather not have to contend with Sirius and Remus right now, and especially not Lily.  
  
She was acting very strangely at the moment, and he was not convinced it was totally related to the impending exams. He knew their joking around frustrated her, but up until now she had seemed not to let it affect her. But over the last few weeks every time he made to go out with Sirius and Remus she would try to stop him, cajole him into staying, even shouting at him to listen to her. It was getting weird, and for a time he had been determined to find out why. But recently he had been feeling simply so exhausted by Lily's constant twitchiness and irritability he just felt like staying on his own to avoid any bother at all.  
  
It's not really like me to be this… er… reclusive, he thought again, but the notion was quickly forgotten as another wave of heat rose up to him. He yawned softly and snuggled further into the chair.  
  
******************************************  
  
Curled in the Gryffindor girls' dorm stairwell with her robes tucked under her sat Lily. Every so often she snuck her head around the final banister and peered into the Common Room. James was sat at the other end by the fire, eyes shut and breathing deeply.  
  
Good, it was working.  
  
Wand clutched firmly in her hand, Lily wriggled on the hard wooden stair trying to get comfortable. It had been a long afternoon, and her mind was on a hundred different things. Sirius and Remus must be out prowling the grounds. She grimaced at the image. Although she loved Sirius deeply, her main concern at the moment was James. Keeping him away from Remus was getting easier now she had been working on him for a few weeks, and soon she wouldn't need to channel so much focus into this spell, so she could begin the same process on Sirius, on Peter, on the rest of the pupils and staff perhaps. But for now it was simply James.  
  
Ooof!  
  
The sleepy sixth year had been dully packing up her chart and was now drearily heading up to the dorm. Lily rubbed her hip and looked up at her.  
  
"Sorry, didn't see…you…down…there," yawned the girl as she rubbed her foot, "sorry" and she trudged on up.  
  
Leaning back around the corner, checking on her spellmanship, Lily sighed. James looked so peaceful asleep there, but the knowledge of the danger he so often unwittingly let himself into was tearing her apart.  
  
From time to time, when it was becoming too much for her to maintain composure, when it seemed a long haul to a totally uncertain end, when she could not see how to continue the façade Remus had began, she considered alternatives. To tell James and Sirius? Not yet, they would probably shriek and make a joke of it. To tell everyone? Teachers, pupils, maybe the Ministry? Certainly not. No matter how much she felt betrayed by what she had discovered, she couldn't do something that harsh to a friend, even an ex-friend. Surely loyalty served for something?  
  
Dejected, she shook her fuzzy, muddled head to sort out her thoughts. No, until a better solution presented itself she would just have to maintain her spell. James was the most important person to her at Hogwarts. Sirius was tougher, she knew that; he could look after himself. But with James it was different. Even though it was blatantly clear to everyone, even to Lily, that he needed no looking after, she couldn't help but want to care for him. Right from the beginning of their first year here she had felt the need to watch his back, and so they had formed their earnest little partnership. Firm friends, soul mates, never needing more or less.  
  
Until now, now that Lily had created this other bond, totally at odds with all she believed in, the bond she had forged between herself and a werewolf. In discovering his secret they became entwined, Lily and Remus, neither feeling totally comfortable with it at all.  
  
She hadn't told him in as many words that she knew. But she did know, and he knew, and it was the tension between them whenever they accidentally met that confirmed both their fears. She was right.  
  
She knew. 


End file.
